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Story: Apple notches up 50 million iTunes sales

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Posted by: Anon (Monday 15 March 2004, 7:23 PM)

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In other news... (we'll likely here from ZDNet UK)

The Dangers of Bread Consumption...

More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

Fully 50% of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, practically all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
a. 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
b. 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
c. 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
d. 99.7% of the people involved in air and/or auto accidents
ate bread within the 6 months immediately preceding the
accident.
e. 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where
bread is served on a frequent basis.

Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the people born in 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

Bread is made from a substance called 'dough'. It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of Cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and Osteoporosis.

Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to sustain themselves begged for bread after as little as two days.

Bread is often a 'gateway' food item, leading the user to 'harder' food groups such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, or even cold cuts.

Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

Newborn babies can choke on bread.

Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. Increased temperatures also contribute to global warming.

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Full Talkback thread

Story: Apple notches up 50 million iTunes sales

  1. This article is completely at lack of fairness in... Anonymous
  2. Wow! I didn't realize that March 15th was actually... Anonymous
  3. Writer for original article is a moron. Not only d... Anonymous
  4. Oops. You accidently forgot to get any facts. The... Eric
  5. you guys suck at reporting... but you're british-... donnie
  6. CNET falls short of journalistic integrity See thi... Anonymous
  7. It's only March 15, 2004, how can you report on Ap... Anonymous
  8. Apple has another 6-1/2 weeks before the April 28t... steve patterson
  9. Did anyine at ZDnet bother to actually check Steve... Scott Hamilton
  10. Re-read the press release and update your article.... killirien
  11. Pure shoddy journalism obviously meant to bolster... er
  12. Is this what passes for "balanced" reporting these... Anonymous
  13. In other news... (we'll likely here from ZDNet UK)... Anon
  14. Get your facts right before you published! The 100... Yan
  15. When will the retraction be posted? Afterall, erro... finelinebob
  16. Your facts are all wrong as usal when concerning s... John Heneghan
  17. It's apparent to me that there are no EDITORS at Z... Art Collins
  18. Ina DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE JUMPING THE GUN YET AG... Anonymous
  19. you probably already figured out two of your mista... Anonymous
  20. DOH! And I quote from Mac Daily News: "Steve Jobs... Rick Wintheiser
  21. Totally wrong and incorrect. Steve said the 100 M... Anonymous
  22. Retraction request to the editors is in... Sent to... Robert H
  23. Get your facts straight before posting them on a s... Anonymous
  24. Ummm, it isn't April yet. And the date set for th... Bob Stock
  25. You guys need to publish a retraction. It is not... Anonymous
  26. ACtually, I'm in America, and I think our reportin... MJ
  27. Maybe it is a British thing... check out the BBC s... Anonymous
  28. Talk about crappy reporting! Do your homework Ina.... Anonymous
  29. Pretty embarrassing. Uh, for the reporter that is.... Anonymous
  30. Last that I remember Apple stated it wanted to sel... rlhamon
  31. The BBC got it wrong and apparently ZDNet doesn't... Anonymous
  32. You should go to work for Bush because he doesn't... bill
  33. We received a lot of impassioned comment about the... Michael Parsons
  34. Well done! Thanks for doing the right thing and se... Adam Bezark
  35. i'll second the well done.... BBC also corrected... Anonymous

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