Toolkit

Story: Open source projects: Why it pays to keep quiet

Posted by: Anonymous (Saturday 26 November 2005, 5:21 PM)

I recently project-managed a rollout of Linux to over 8000 desktops at an international finance corporation, replacing numerous commercial packages. To all of the Free Software community, I'd like to say this- Thanks a million!

In fact, thanks 13.3 million, because that's how much we saved! This year alone!

I say "we", I mean the shareholders. So a big thank you from the shareholders, for the extra 13.3 million on the bottom line this year (minus my hefty bonus payment, of course!) you can be assured the extra cash will be put to good use in the international financial markets.

Thank you for all your hard work. We know how hard it can be, slaving away into the early hours, on a caffeine-fuelled desperate search to catch that last bug. We know, because our vendors used to tell us each year when we renewed our license and support contracts. But now, you guys do this for us! Thanks, guys! You can be sure that the champagne will be flowing freely at our profits announcement pre-briefing meetings (open to all senior managers at Associate-Director level and above), thanks to your hard work!

I personally will be thinking of you this summer, on board my new luxury yacht, during my extended vacation in the Mediterranean this year. The world truly is a different place, due to the power of the internet and collaborative free-software projects. Without them, I couldn't even afford a yacht! Thanks guys!

The open-source revolution is just beginning. I've learned a lot from free software, and I'm grateful for that. I've learned I have the freedom to not pay anything for our for our software! That's right, nothing! Not a dollar, not a euro, not a pound! The great thing about ZERO is it's the same not matter what currency it's in! I can assure you that'll be a hot topic at our post-implementation party in the Cayman islands next week!

Of course, I can't disclose the actual company I work for, because, you know, it's "commercially sensitive" and all that stuff. But just remember, next time you make an interest payment on your mortgage (Ha! I remember when I used to have one of them!) that it could just be, that because of YOUR work, a little bit more of the money YOU pay ends up with OUR shareholders! (and me, of course!)

If that seems a little harsh, I say this: think of the children. No, not your children, MY children! They'll be attending a much more exclusive public school, thanks to your hard work! Now isn't that thought enough to warm the heart of even the most ardent critic of free software?