Network management Toolkit 
Story: Ofcom: UK broadband speeds lower than promised
The scary secret of 'black fibre'
It's because the links are actually in use. They run 'black light', harvested by probes launched in the 1960s to the nearest quantum singularity and used by DARPA, the American military high-tech agency. Being black light, it's completely immune to all attempts at interception, so the DARPA tech-heads can share all their secrets in... well, secrecy. Just don't tell anyone.
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